Sunday, August 16, 2009

He is what he is

I am tired, frustrated to the point of disgust, of all the questions people put to me about the little one. As a baby and as one that thrived only on mother's milk, V was a little more than healthy. So much so that people would ask him if he was a year old when he was only eight months old. I was not worried because I knew why he was like that. Also, I learnt to rely on my instinct, facts I had gathered from books and Doctors. But people would n't just let be. In the very beginning, the questions were: What...you are not giving water? He's four months old...You have not started external supplements? He is only six months old hah hah...thought he was older hah hah etc. As he grew older the growth rate slowed down (as it does in any other baby) and after he turned one and started walking, he did not look anything like the baby that he was. His weight according to the doctor was and is normal. Now I get these questions.. Why has he gone down...does n't he eat properly, or plain does n't he eat? I learnt to ignore all this..
However, worse was to follow. I was able to ignore questions on food and weight because I ( in fact, both the husband and I) knew exactly how he was doing and what he was eating, and that he is doing good. But not those that were about his "development'. V started creeping only at the eighth month, crawled only at ten months, began sitting by himself by eleven months and started walking (properly) only when he was fifteen moths old. Which meant he was normal by any standard! The onlookers (read relatives and a few outsiders) seemed to think otherwise. They began comparing and I began explaining until my voice turned hoarse. One day when I was totally exhausted to even raise a small protest, I decided to think rather than talk.
When I did that things (that I had known deep within) began falling in place. My son is just like anyone else 'like him'. That toddler in the park is like 'any other toddler like him'. In short he is what he is. He is like his parents. His parents (that is us) were (a few factors overlapping, others independent) were exactly like what he is now.
When I began saying, he walked late because his father did the same, the questioners stopped talking about that. When it was about V remaining a bystander and an observer when other kids rolled in the mud, I said it is because his mother (me) was like that and they simply shut up. And when I told them that he is an active kid who likes trying to do things on his own, cleans every available furniture with every available piece of cloth, is polite, does n't throw a tantrum (touch wood...toouuccchhh wooddd!) in others' houses, they stopped talking to me...at least about toddlers and kids in general!
And, I am one happy mom. I now give such an expression as a reaction (not answer!) to those people that the look on their face cleary says "why am I enduring this". I only hope I don't get another opprtunity to wag my nasty tongue again!
As for the little one, he is happy being who he is because he still is ensconced in his own little world of imagination and waatcchinngg matcchines. I wish children could never grow and be as they are.... Tall claims huh?

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